February 08, 2015

Pieces Won't Glue Back Together...

When something happens, something that changes your life, how many tears need to be shed before you begin to feel whole again? It comes in waves, tears after tears, then subsides for a few days until another memory, another item triggers what you can not change. You are suppose to be strong but feel so weak. This is what I have been dealing with since last summer. Last summer when my husband decided we needed a break, now we are broken...
The pieces won't glue back together the way they were, instead they will form something new, a relationship that focuses on our daughter and being us "friends" as much as we can handle. It still hurts. Hurts more than anyone will ever know and changed me.

But, she is our focus, our concern. I even told him: some days I will be fine. Other days I will hate you. Packing up his belongings, reliving memories, reliving kisses and sweet moments is what I deal with on a day to day basis. My rings are still on my left hand, remaining until all is finalized. When I finally remove them will it destroy me, liberate me, or just plain confuse me? 

So, this blog may take a different turn than planned...
(For the record, this isn't about bashing him or me in any way. He knows of this blog and that I will be writing about this and more.)

**Update: I did remove my rings last week. It hurt but I know it was the step I needed to take.**


  1. I am so sorry for all the pain you are going through. I think it's very hard to hear from everyone too that "It is all happening for a reason". Why would anything so painful be better, right? It's impossible to know what the future holds and I do hope and pray this turns out great for you. I also sincerely pray for you to have the strength to deal with all of this in your life right now, for you to learn from this, and for you to find peace with it all.

    1. Thank you. I'm trying. I turn to my crafts as a form of "therapy".

  2. Thats sad I hope you find peace virginia.

  3. You are a talented, creative person and the artist in you will heal you....It works....I know. Be well my Dear one. I have known you through your work and writing from the start and I feel that you will be okay. This is an emotional stretch period that you will survive and come out even more glorious. Love and best wishes your way,

  4. so sorry to hear but better things our to come my son is going thur the same thing and he has kids to and there suffering to but i told him the best thing for them all is for him and her to get along and be friends and to co parent together peacefull and to do there best

  5. hugs and prayers for peace to all 3 of you...we all will be here with you and for you when you need us...

  6. I am sorry to hear that you have to go through this pain. I've been where you are and I understand how you are feeling. As time goes by you will go through down days and up days, but eventually there will be more up than down... I promise. I've watched you for a few years now doing your videos and helping others to learn what you know. I am someone you taught to loom knit, someone you encouraged without even knowing it. I am in my mid-60s and found you on YouTube when I discovered loom knitting. I never could knit, but this is possible and I can create lovely things and be proud of them. Unlike the knitted sweater that I made for someone that had one sleeve a mile longer than the other. LOL So thank you for giving me something new to do. And I pray that you will find peace and joy again soon. :)